Should is an awkward word. Often subconsciously we don’t give a lot of fore thought to using it. It is a habit when we feel the need to give out an opinion or spontaneous advice . When used in our internal dialogue, it’s usually heavy with regret, uber negative vibes and some self loathing. Not a healthy move for our self respect.
How did ‘should’ become such a standard go-to in our vocabulary?
Dig deeper in thought with ‘should’. It implies that some action or changing of some behavior was necessary. ‘Should’ is really a cushioned version of shame, judgement or criticism. And why do we want to do that to ourselves or someone else?
Pushing your authority on a subject is most likely use of the ‘bossy’ card and a potentially degrading dose of power; but sharing knowledge instead defuses reasons for defense . You can stand on a pedestal and tell someone what to do or you can share a conversation, give a perspective, ask some really good questions and learn from them. Here’s to mutual learning and guaranteed it will be a better experience.
Even if we are an authority on a subject, news flash… we don’t know it all……
This is worth remembering at work. Relationships with co-workers mean that putting ‘shoulds’ out there could set you up for some really bad days and lingering judgement hangovers. Same non-should rule applies; take the almighty hat off, stop criticism and replace with great questions.
‘You could’ versus ‘you should’ is a game changer, but more importantly a life changer.